Relationship OCD (ROCD) Therapy in Bergen County, NJ
Constant doubt about your feelings, your partner’s feelings, or the entire relationship — even when there’s no real reason — is Relationship OCD, not a relationship problem.
At The Anxiety & OCD Therapy Practice we specialize in Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) — the proven treatment that ends the doubt cycle and helps you trust love again — in-person in Upper Saddle River and via telehealth throughout New Jersey & New York.
What Is Relationship OCD (ROCD)?
Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that centers on intimate relationships. Individuals with ROCD experience intrusive, distressing thoughts and doubts about their relationship, partner, or both, which can severely impact their emotional well-being and the quality of their relationships.
People with ROCD are constantly questioning their feelings towards their partner, plagued by the fear that they might be in the wrong relationship. These doubts and anxieties are relentless, making it nearly impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. They feel overwhelmed by doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty, constantly questioning the strength of their feelings, their compatibility, or their partner’s love andfinity. This persistent unease and dissatisfaction occur even without concrete reasons, trapping them in a loop of overthinking and second-guessing, unable to trust their own emotions and judgments.
ROCD Has Two Main Sides
1. “Do I really love my partner?”
This is the classic internal-doubt type.
- “What if I don’t actually love them enough?”
- “What if my feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be?”
- “What if I’m only staying because I’m scared to leave?”
- “What if this feeling of numbness means I’m with the wrong person?”
- “If I loved them, I would feel X right now… right?”
- “Do I want to cheat?”
- “What if I’m misleading them or myself?”
- Doubting love or attraction
- Compatibility concerns
- Fear of settling
- Partner’s flaws becoming deal-breakers
Common compulsions: testing emotions, comparing, mental checking, reassurance-seeking, rumination, breaking up “just to see how it feels,” avoidance of intimacy.
2. “Does my partner really love me?”
The fear shifts to their feelings:
- “What if they don’t love me as much as I love them?”
- “What if they leave me?”
- “What if they’re secretly unhappy?”
- “What if they’re only here out of obligation?”
- “What if they’re cheating on me?”
- “What if they’re losing interest or attracted to someone else?”
Common compulsions: reading tone/facial expressions/texting pace, constant “temperature-checking,” overanalyzing interactions, hyper-monitoring behavior, seeking signs they’re still loved.
ROCD is not a relationship problem — it’s OCD attacking the thing you value most: love and connection. ERP stops the doubt cycle for good.
How ERP Helps Relationship OCD
We use Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) — the most effective treatment for ROCD — to help you stop feeding the doubt and start trusting your feelings and your relationship again.
In-Person & Telehealth Options
Upper Saddle River Office
The Anxiety & OCD Therapy Practice
345 NJ-17, Suite 33B
Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458
Bergen County • Convenient to Mahwah, Ramsey, Ridgewood, Paramus
Telehealth
Licensed throughout New Jersey
and New York
Same specialist ERP from anywhere