A Reflective Workbook · Preparing for ERP
The Cost of OCD
Section i
Before we begin.
ERP is effective. Decades of research show it. The one thing that determines whether it works is motivation. This workbook builds it — or, if it's already there, helps you see it clearly.
What this workbook is for
Most of the time when you think about your OCD, you think about the pain of the obsessions and all the reasons it feels necessary to give in. This workbook does something different. It asks you to look honestly at what OCD has cost you — your time, your relationships, the people you love, the life you wanted to live.
This isn't meant to be discouraging. It's meant to be fuel.
How to use it
- Take your time. This isn't something to rush.
- Be specific. Vague answers don't fuel anything. Specific memories do.
- Be honest. No one sees this but you.
- Your answers save automatically in your browser. Nothing is sent anywhere.
- Come back to the final section — Why I'm Doing This — whenever the work feels too hard.
Section ii
What OCD has taken from me.
Each prompt is a place to begin. Skip what doesn't apply, expand on what does. Try to be specific — name which events, which opportunities, which relationships. The specifics are what make this fuel.
Lost or wasted time
How many hours, days, months, years has OCD taken? Time inside rituals, mental loops, checking, washing, avoidance, recovery. What might you have done with that time instead?
Humiliating or uncomfortable experiences
Times OCD pushed you into something you didn't want to do. Things others noticed. Things only you know about. Moments you'd rather forget.
Financial & employment losses
Jobs not taken. Promotions declined. Hours lost. Money spent on cleaning supplies, replacements, copies, anything OCD demanded. Treatment costs. Income lost to time stuck.
Guilt
What about your OCD has made you feel guilty? About what you've done. About what you haven't done. About the person you fear you've become.
Because of OCD, I've missed
Events. Trips. Milestones. Moments of being fully present. Even small things. Especially the small things — they add up to a life.
Because of OCD, I've been late to
Just one more check. One more time around. Had to finish the ritual. The hurry that wasn't really a hurry.
Damaged or lost relationships
Friendships drifted. Partners exhausted. Family strained. Connections never made because you couldn't be fully present.
Hobbies and joys lost
What did you used to love that OCD has taken — or made unenjoyable? The things that used to feel like you.
Other losses
Whatever else doesn't fit elsewhere. Sense of self. Hope. Confidence. The future you imagined. This is your space.
Section iii
How OCD has hurt the people I love.
Maybe the harder section. Try to think about specific events — and how the people in your life must have felt in those moments. Not to punish yourself. To understand the stakes.
Forcing them to ritualize
Times your loved ones had to check, wash, reassure, repeat — to participate in the OCD even when they didn't want to. The ways they accommodated.
Making them late or causing them to miss things
Their disappointment. The events they missed waiting for you. The ways they had to plan around the OCD.
Hurt them with my other OCD demands
Restrictions you placed on them. Accommodations they had to make. Things they couldn't do because of your OCD.
Hurt them with my OCD anger
When the anxiety came out sideways — as irritation, anger, snapping — and they took the brunt.
Hurt them with my OCD rigidity
Things had to be a certain way. There was no room for their way. Their flexibility stretched to its limit.
Ignoring them because of OCD thoughts
When they were speaking and you weren't really there. When they needed your presence and your mind was elsewhere.
Ignoring them by withdrawing
Pulling away from them. The times they needed you and you weren't available. Hiding.
Other ways my OCD has hurt them
Other ways. Anything else.
Section iv
If you had to give one reason —
One main reason you're doing this. Not five. One. The thing you'll come back to when treatment gets hard. Write it in your own words. It can be a sentence. It can be three words. It can change later — but for today, what is it?
Some people start with —
Tap any to use as a starting point, then make it your own.
Section v · Return to this when the work gets hard
Why I'm doing this.
This page is your fuel. Bookmark it. Come back whenever an exposure feels too hard, whenever the OC Monster's voice gets loud. This is what you're fighting for.
My one reason
"What OCD has cost me
- Fill in Section ii to see your costs here.
What OCD has cost the people I love
- Fill in Section iii to see this here.
You can do hard things.
Your answers save automatically to this browser only — they aren't sent to any server. To bring your answers to a session, use Print / Save as PDF or Export as text.
Clear everything?
This will permanently delete all of your responses. This cannot be undone.